Pure Harlequin Madness
by PeetaBread
Summary: Ever wonder what would happen if Harley had been in Tim Burton's Batman? Well, now you know. Harley has appeared in the Batman world and has a strong hate to Vicki Vale.


Pure Harlequin Madness

False Name: Harley Quinn

Name: Dr. Harleen Quinzel

Occupation: Arkham Asylum Pshycologist

Current Position: Threat

Sanity Measurement: Very Low

Ok, look, this all started when I found out what my Puddin' was up to in Gothem. I wasn't lookin' for trouble, ya know. It just kinda happened. I'll just start from the very beginning. Well, I was just a pshycologist in Arkham, and everythin' was normal, until I saw him. I had heard so much about him, and that's what I came to Arkham for, I wanted to meet the enemies of the Bat I'd heard so much about. Especially my Puddin'. The Joker. And when I walked over to his cell…..the way that he looked at me, I could barely contain myself, ya know? And then…..he left a rose on my desk. I pretended it just annoyed me, but, the rose really got me in. That, and his story about his abusive father and the circus…..then he got out. Now think about this, your love leaves the place where you met him, all alone. Would ya be worried too?

When the Bat brought him in, all bloody and torn up, that was when I got the hate to the Bat. Beatin' up my Puddin'! He's the real villain! Sorry….I'm getting' side tracked here. Well, let's skip to now. I was in Arkham at the time, and I had no idea what Puddin' was up to. Then I picked up the paper. He was putting a toxin in deodorant and other things. He killed two models. Then a woman on the news….I had to go to him. So, that night I broke out, and found him again. Only…..he was in a restaurant he has emptied with his gas…..flirting with another girl. I felt like someone cut my heart out and ripped it in two…..all I could think was 'That little bitch!' He was my Puddin' that blond bimbo had no right to him! I wanted my revenge. I had to do something. But, I knew I wouldn't be able to bring myself to kill her. I'm not a killer. I walked out of the place, heart broken and angry.

Then….I did get my revenge. Or…at least I tried I had replaced a few boards in the belfry with breakaway boards, then I would somehow make her fall back on top of the boards, falling through. But, for some reason, my plans don't like me. When my Puddin' and that tramp, who's name was Vicki (I learned it from the paper), got up to the belfry, I was awaiting them to get to the right spot so I could knock Vicki into the boards. But no, that Bat had to get in the way, again! He made his way up, and one of my Puddin's little minions came up and fought the Bat until he got knocked into my breakaway boards. And even with that I didn't even get the Bat! He fell through, but there we more, stronger boards underneath! I was watching what was going on with the Bat, until I turned my attention to my Puddin' and Vicki. She was kissing down him! I had had enough with her! Then the Bat came over and started beating up my Puddin' again! I wish they'd just leave us alone!

Then, the most frightenin' thing happened. All three of them were hanging off the edge of the Cathedral. My Puddin' went to make his escape on one of the helicopters, and the Bat tied one of the gargoyles to my Puddin's ankle! As he slowly slipped of the ladder, I was about to scream. Then…..he dropped. I ran down the stairs as fast as possible, and out to the street where he fell. There he was, still, cold from the night air, permanent smile across his face, as his 'Bag of Laughs' laughed away in his inside coat pocket. I started to cry, my make-up running down my face. I knew there was no more hope, so I got up and ran before the cops came. But, the Bat caught me, and brought me back to Arkham.

Do you understand my story yet? My life is over. I really don't have a reason to live anymore. I'm not gonna get a job anytime soon. I have nothing left to do….I was a villain, my reason to be a villain is dead. My choice….

"I don't regret it." I told the Doctor that was doing my session. "It was amazing, and a great experience…..it felt like a kiss….."

"A kiss?" The Doctor asked. I nodded.

"A kiss from a psychopathic clown, to the woman who love him."


End file.
